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  • "Granted the ability to change one thing in language, I would order for the immediate termination of the caps lock button on keyboards."

    I had to agree with her on this, for nothing good comes out of the dreadful use of full caps in a wide variation of cases. I must make exception for marques and chiseled stone letters on Greco-Roman buildings, but both of these cases do not involve keyboards. I found the idea inconceivably minor, so I pushed forward with our chat.

    "That's really all I would change."

    Well that was that then.

    Saturday morning started with me making blueberry pancakes, a feat that I am quite proud of. My reputation as a chef is quite poor, but that was unknown to the audience this time. Hours drifted by and I ended up in my new favorite place to go to with the intention of working on coursework but actually daydream at.

    "Are you an English major?"

    So that's how the awkward eye contact would swiftly change into conversation. None of this pretending to need to plug your laptop in nonsense today. Normally this would be an odd question to blurt out, but I had a T.S. Eliot blog, Cowbird, and an article on punctuation open on my browser. I've been on a five year English kick without having the audacity to commit to an English major. I politely declined.

    "That's too bad. Anthropology?"

    I was read like a book written with caps lock pressed firmly into the keyboard.
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