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  • (Written for Sir Fred but not necessarily about him.)

    I run a large investment bank.
    So naturally I'd like to thank
    Each customer that I have screwed
    For all their money I've accrued.

    I admit it was my onus
    To amass an obscene bonus.
    I've brought the country to it's knees
    So I could pay my kid's school fees.

    I am an arrogant b'stard.
    For morals I have scant regard.
    I have squirreled a large amount
    Of cash in my offshore account.

    It isn't me where you should aim
    All of your anger, hatred, blame.
    This has been a long time brewing.
    Not completely my own doing.

    For that look to the government.
    It's them who set the covenant
    To make it easier to lend
    To all you fools who overspend.

    Time came for me to face the flack,
    And fingers crossed behind my back
    I offered the authorities
    The feeblest of apologies.

    So now I need to get away.
    Some gard'ning leave, a holiday.
    On my return I'll earn my pay
    Consulting for the F.S.A.

    (c) 16/02/09 MICHAEL DENNIS 'THE BLACK CAB POET' as featured in The Metro 06/05/08, various poems read out on Steve Allen's Early Morning Breakfast ShowL.B.C.97.3, plugged by Jeni Barnett on her afternoon show on L.B.C 97.3 06/05/08, mentioned in Will Self's article in The Evening Standard 20/05/08, and featured on The Nightly News on L.B.C.97.306/05/08
    THE CHAV BIRD SONG as played on The David Rodigan Show on KISS 100
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