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  • All day long I have feared the proclaimed storm that was coming my way. Rain, thunder. Not for me, not today. Although I find these types of weather comforting, today they were pulling me back. I needed sunshine, happiness, not rainy sadness or thunders of anger. But then again, when the pain and the anger is outside, I wouldn't have to feel it inside me anymore. That's what I thought.

    Now it's midday and still no storm to be found. No sunshine either. Just clouds and small drops of rain. And what do I feel? I don't know. Tension, like the storm that is waiting to burst. Maybe there's a storm inside me waiting to burst too. But what kind of storm? A heatwave of sunshine and happiness? A flood of rain and tears? Or perhaps a tense storm with lighting and thunder of rage? No, the last one it can't be. I'm practically incapable of being angry.

    Weather I don't fear, a storm I do. I don't mind a little rain, sunshine or thunder. But intensity. Extreme happiness never seems to last. Extreme pain never seems to end. And extreme anger? I only fear ever to get to know that feeling.

    As I look at it this way, the storm outside might not even be so bad. The storms inside me, that are the ones I fear and look up to.
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