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  • Disclaimer: This story comes from me in a steroid-fueled, emotionally muddied state.

    I found out I had Asthma (or at least that's what my doctor's think it is) 5 months ago. It has been a 5-month long roller coaster involving a number of drastic lifestyle changes, freak visits to the emergency room and moments of emotional weakness.

    I think I've managed to cover the entire arc of emotions that one feels after finding out that there is something wrong with them. From denial to anger, to depression, to empowerment. It isn't an uncommon disease; it's actually quite a remarkable disease. My immune system is actually functioning like a well-oiled engine, too well-oiled in fact and is just in overdrive. That is Asthma, an auto-immune disease that 300 million people around the world suffer from.

    Anyone who has Asthma will tell you that the feeling of choking, and not being able to catch a normal breath is one of the most terrifying experiences you will have. I've felt pain, broken bones etc, (not to discount anyone else's suffering), but not being able to catch a good breath is a horrible horrible feeling.

    I don't think I slept properly for the first 3 months that I had this ailment, because I was too afraid to choke to death in my sleep (which I have learned is actually not possible as long as you're not intoxicated in any way).

    What's worse is that my breathing issues (I'm not yet convinced it's Asthma) have been getting worse. There is either something in the air in my apartment or out doors that is slowly making me sicker. I've cleared out dust, cat dander, and now mold also from my apartment, trying to narrow down what is causing this. But have yet to have a doctor tell me what is exactly wrong with me. Every doctor is convinced I have Asthma, but cannot tell me what caused/is causing it.

    Since it is such a common disease, it is often brushed off as not being "a big deal." Let me tell you my friend, when you can't breathe, it is a big deal...

    The only thing worse than not being able to breathe is the uncertainty of not knowing what is wrong with you and what is making you sicker... I hope they figure it out soon, otherwise I'm going to lose my mind.
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