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  • I cannot speak of my current job because of the nature of hospitality and the promise I have made. I'm sure going to tell of a few incidents in the past, though, that occurred at other hotels. I have muddled the stories and they do not reflect one particular hotel. Where shall I begin.....

    The telephones are ringing off the hook, the key check is still to be done, I have a third party billing departing and the breakfast cheques have not been brought over. SMILE!! One of the receptionists cannot add or multiply in tens. It takes a lifetime for her to hand over the cash float. SMILE!!!

    A celebrity is chasing an employee around the lobby because she "wants him". She then decides to take a swim in the pool....in full scuba gear. She comes to the desk and complains we have lost her silk scarf and shouts that we would not know anything about silk because we can't afford it. The girls and I go to the back office and giggle because I just bought silk, Christian Dior undies. One of my colleagues touches up my eyebrows with a razor blade. We go back to the front to relieve the others and SMILE!!

    I leave home at 4:30 am to start at 6:00 am because the clock for the time cards is twelve minutes fast and makes you appear late. Speak to Security...no, Engineering...no, HR. Give me a blasted screwdriver!

    I go to the entrance to await the VIP arrival, I escort her down the wooden corridor and we talk about the Carnival Floats. I can hear the fountain in the background. She speaks but she is so eccentric and changes the topic mid sentence continuously. I'm not sure how to respond. Later that evening, Security gets involved because another guest claims our VIP has stolen her handbag whilst in the restaurant. An investigation takes place and our VIP owns a very similar bag. It is agreed it was not intentional. I feel almost sorry because she is one of my heroes and I can see she is not coherent.

    She sits at the grand piano in the lobby and she begins to play. She sings "Don't Smoke In Bed".

    I sob. Not many recognize her.

    I have never heard anything so poignant, perfect and sane.
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