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  • On 23rd March 2012 my nanna passed away. We never got on. From an early age she had pointed out my flaws, corrected my speech, and dismissed anything which did not tally with her strict and old fashioned ways.

    On 16th March 2006 my grandad, her husband, passed away. We did get on, in fact he was my best friend in the world. He was kind, funny, open minded, dedicated, adventurous, giving, and intelligent. Basically one of those all round special people. My family life had always been complicated but our relationship was simple. I loved him and he loved me.

    So on 4th April 2012 my grandad's grave was opened and my nanna was buried with him and for me it was like his funeral all over again. It was still very raw, still so painful. So I cried and cried and cried but the idea that people thought the tears were for her seemed somehow distasteful, and I wanted to tell them who I was really crying for. Yet deep down there was a sense of guilt that I had so few tears for my nanna as they were all for my grandad.

    But you need to inspire love to inspire grief.

    Rest in peace grandad x
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