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  • Q: what are you,"a" or "the"?

    In thinking greatly about my own identity, I have come to the
    realization that I am "a" man rather than "the" man,
    choosing to be problematic rather than a socially reproduced normative.

    I am "a" man in my conduct;
    to be "the" man requires posturing I am incapable of.

    "The" man is someone who is foundational in the best and worst representational culturally transmitted ways, therefore I believe to be
    "a" man is an outlier in the margins more adaptable to change, and I prefer to create that space.

    As just "a" man, it seems I am a little vanilla to people, but I will take it as to be
    "the" man means I have to be fake and sell myself out to please others.

    While being "a" man is lonely, at least I have learned in the process of becoming "a" man to be honest to those I love and have loved;
    to not let posturing about as "the" man of a relationship cause any more serious damage than may have already accrued. That's why I loved them as "a" man-- I can only be representative of myself, not of an entire culture or gender.

    To be any less than "a" man would be a dis-service to all around me, and most importantly to myself. While being "a" man is just another label, I accept it because it is self imposed in definition and I have the power to change it. That is what being "a" person is all about.
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