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  • It’s that word, the word no one says. The subject no one will discuss.

    It’s hot, it’s up, it’s down, its emotional, its god’s ultimate revenge on your body, just as your teenage daughter is finding her sexual power, yours is slowly draining away from you, ripped from your sagging dried up bosom.

    Well, ripped might be extreme but let us just say menopause or peri-menopause is not fun.

    I think the most devastating part for me was when the doctor said "well its official, you are in the menopause” in his lovely dulcet tones with the compassionate brown eyes – fresh from Pakistan.

    He always looks lasciviously at me and my sister and law and says isn’t it great to see the sisters together…? Do I imagine this?

    But now, not anymore apparently.

    I was actually grief-stricken.

    I cried.

    The last time I cried when I left the doctor's office I was pregnant - ah,the cruel irony.

    I called my sisters, cold comfort they were.

    I am barren. I am a dried up old hag. Sorry, what did you say? Someone put you on pause? I'm out at lunch, its really noisy here - do you want to speak to Dad? I will call you back later....

    Did I want to speak to Dad - oh, yeah I can just imagine, Hi Dad its me, I am menopausal - do you want to talk about that?

    And it was in that moment, that horrible realisation that I was no longer a young woman, that I vowed I was now going to let it all hang out. What did I have to lose? As far as I was concerned, it was all gone – over.

    I rang my sister in law – "I’m going grey…you know… natural, …embracing my age"...

    What do you mean? she said (absolute horror, only just suppressed in her voice) You can’t do that. Never! Not on my watch! was the response.

    So, does this mean I can drop the Botox and all of the other pretences for defying youth and just embrace reality? – Why the f*** not? …i thoughts .My gut hanging out under my too tight t-shirt?

    It is all very well to let yourself be natural she said, but seriously – don’t you want to look good?

    It would appear one woman’s poison is another’s wine….or another’s hormonal liberation is just a turning point on the rocky road that is a woman's place in the world, nothing too much to worry about and nothing too much to fuss about.

    My hair is now fire engine red. So my body is on fire, and so is my hair.
    Vow shortlived.
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