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  • Actually a lot of roses smell terrible. Like rich feet.

    Roses smell good depending on a person's mood too. A bad mood? A bad rose.

    Some other things that a sniffer wishes to block out of the nostrils:

    Rotten ginko fruit crushed underfoot. I can't compare it to anything, but others say rotten milk.

    Antifreeze boiling over in the car engine on a 121 degree day. Sweet and bitter, like stevia times 1545! Eck. On that same hot day all slaughterhouses will smell like rotting flesh (which is accurate) and everyone in Milwaukee becomes vegetarian for a few days until the freak-wave lowers back to the 90's.

    I find all repellant- excuse me I mean 'perfume' repulsive. And I do take measures to inform strangers in elevators of their gross offense to the rest of humankind. No, I don't. But I want to. So I sneer and grumble. For now.

    Smelling your own spit dry at the dentists.

    Fresh tar.

    Someone eating an orange when you're eating sardines. Someone eating sardines when you're eating an orange.

    I find five year-old children smell like the short-term diseases they exchange at school.

    And it is hard for me to trust people who like the smell of grass being cut.
    For abstract political reasons.
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