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  • We talk sometimes.

    I miss you so much that it hurts to think about it.

    Your thousands of miles away.

    We used to be so close.

    We happened to talk today, skyped actually. so i got to see you.

    And i couldn't stop smiling. We laughed and you kept telling me that im the most positive person you know.

    I laughed on the inside because the truth is... im sad. i cry alot. I dont smile that often. Ive been told so many times to stop being so negative but yet when i hear your voice and see your face you brighten my day and make me so happy. youve been doing this the past 11 years and it never gets old.

    Truth is...
    I smile the most when i talk to you and see you.
    I get butterflies thinking about you and how you used to hug me.
    I wish the things you said were true.
    I wanna be with you.

    you talk about the perfect girl and the one you chase. And i think to myself. you are the one i want. the one i long for. the one i want to grow old with. the one i wanna touch and be there for. the one i wanna have kids with someday. you are my everything and yet i am nothing but your "spuddy."
    I wanna be your all like you are mine.

    and the worst part is that you remind me of it. you tell me im the most beautiful girl you have ever seen in the whole entire world. but it is a lie. im not sure why you say these things. im not sure why i love you so much.

    But the worst reminder is that you say i love you after each talk.

    I hate to say it back because you mean it only as a friend and i mean it as in i love you with all my heart and i would do anything to be with you. I would put my all into us. but i will never have that chance because "you dont want to ruin our friendship". But the best relationships are the ones that are best friends.

    I hate to be reminded of my love for you. I wish you meant it the way i do.
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