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  • This is a poem about my Grandad. He used to love telling us tall stories


    My Grandad, he could tell a tale.
    He entertained in great detail
    With stories that enthralled us all.
    I never twigged that some were tall.

    He'd sit there in his rocking chair,
    With such a captivating air,
    He'd draw us in and mesmerise.
    While Nan would tut and roll her eyes.

    I think of the amount of times
    He used to make up silly rhymes.
    Or he'd compose a wacky song
    And get us all to sing along.

    My grandmother would cuss and cough
    When he was reeling stories off.
    So often to the kitchen she
    Would storm, to make a cup of tea.

    He told us he could tickle trout
    And how he pulled a dozen out.
    Then sold them to the mess canteen
    Whilst soldiering for King and Queen.

    Nan heard this story once too much
    And with her cool she then lost touch.
    She threw her knitting needles down,
    Then turned to him with such a frown.

    “That's it!” She said “I've had enough!
    I cannot listen to this stuff.
    You've told it many times before.
    Tell him the truth. He's 24!”

    “If you don't do it then I will.
    The time has come for you to spill
    The beans about that day's events
    Without the false embellishments.”

    “Gawd luv Old Ireland!” he replied.
    “He'll strike me down if I have lied.
    If that's the way you want to play.
    You go ahead and have your say.”

    “In to a stream of fish he threw
    A hand grenade which loudly blew
    A catch of fish up in the air
    And scattering them ev'rywhere.

    So he can no more charm the fish
    Than I can grant your ev'ry wish.
    He's pulled yer leg, it's been a con.
    For all these years he's 'ad you on!”

    My Grandad, he could tell a tale.
    He entertained in great detail,
    With wisdom and humility,
    I wish he was still here with me.

    © 25/04/12 MICHAEL DENNIS 'The Black Cab Poet' As featured on and the inspiration for The Janice Long Spoken Word Sessions B.B.C. Radio 2, 18/04/12. Over 40 poems read out on Steve Allen's Early Morning Breakfast Show L.B.C. 97.3FM. Featured on the Jeni Barnett Show B.B.C. Radio London 94.9FM 29/5/11, in an article in The Metro 06/05/08, in Will Self's article in The Standard 20/05/08, on L.B.C.'s Nightly News 06/05/08 and on John Pienaar's Politics Show B.B.C. 5 Live 9/10/11. The Chav Bird Song as played by David Rodigan on Kiss 100 FM, Complete and Utter Banker Song
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