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  • When you started telling me
    I immediately thought
    "This is not real."
    "I cannot survive this."
    "Everything has been for nothing."
    "That's not even her over there."
    I wanted so badly to run
    right out of the room

    and keep on running
    But my M.O. is to freeze
    so there I sat
    Swallowing my despondent cries
    Letting quiet tears fall
    Never wanting to draw attention
    to my neediness
    I don't understand
    who you are to me
    And I don't know
    who I am without you

    We were finally ready
    Ready to open this mouth
    Let the sound come out
    Use the words
    And the cries
    Finally ready
    To let the guards down
    To accept the truth

    I wish that you could hold me
    and tell me it will be okay
    "You're gonna be alright."
    In your little accent
    Scrunch your face
    To the side
    Like you do
    When you're being funny
    and nod your head

    You believe in me
    You've believed in me
    Even when I wasn't sure
    If I was real
    Now you're leaving
    and your life will be better
    I wish I were just one
    so I could tell you
    I am glad for you
    because you deserve it
    and just let you go
    and remain strong

    But what to say to
    The ones who don't understand?
    The ones who constantly
    wish to just touch your hand
    To make sure it is all real
    That you are real
    That any of this
    has even happened
    Over these many
    transformational months
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