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  • In the height of Summer 2006 my dreams were vivid and bizarre. Their stories and characters unfurled and played in amazing detail. I was participant and observer in the dreamscape adventures. Over weeks I became familiar with around five dream scene settings and returned to them all over and over again, each time resuming their stories. I knew my resting place, foetal-like, was floating near the bottom of a dark still ocean. Near the end of the deep dreaming I found energy to move into the undersea currents and seek out the light.

    When I woke up I saw something was going on. Wedding photos and snaps of my girl and my baby taped to the wall next to my head. Odd. Bright hazy flags cris-crossing the ceiling as I stared up. He brought them close, and I saw they were cards full of love. I drew strength, and dared myself to be more aware. A gentle rocking sensation and the inability to move, or to talk. Tubes, bandages, bags, activity. Nurses with angelic eyes come near, then they fiddle and fuss with huge surrounding pounding pumping beeping machines. When they touch me they are gentle. I see my husband not still in the photo but in the flesh, beaming happy and at home in this strange white place. I wonder why he is so happy when I find myself so totally broken...

    I pass in and out of the coma dream sea for days again. Then one time when I surface I stay woken up, and start working it out.... They tell me it's very hot outside. And that I am extremely lucky to be alive. Life support is gradually withdrawn. I taste soup and try to take breaths, talk through my neck hole, try to turn my body and to take it all in. It takes time.

    Eventually I get back home. I am back with my baby who fed from me so happily for just a week before I went. I am back with my toddler daughter, who warily welcomes me, eyes seeking her mother. I am back with my soulmate, who loves me again. My task was recovery, moment by moment, step by step.
    This is the beginning of many other stories. There is no moral nor message, nothing I wish to impart as wisdom gained from being stricken by sickness. It could happen to anyone, it happened to me.
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