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  • It's alright, Ma...I'm only bleeding

    - Bob Dylan
    -----------------------------------------------------------------------------
    Wow! I didn’t see that one coming. When I said I thought I could trust this one, and the big boss said, knowingly, “Ah, hope springs eternal around here these days” (it was the first day of the baseball season, and that’s how I took his remark, even though I knew what he meant), I knew there was probably more than was meeting my eye. But, I chose to see the hope, the better nature of things, of people. I wanted to believe that we could make it work. I empathized, acknowledged and validated the feeling this person was going through, because I had been right where they sat, even in this very same place, and I truly did feel their pain and disappointment. I thought that maybe, just maybe, they might take the higher road, here…

    And, you know what? I am that guy, and I will always be that guy, who chooses to see the bright side, the positive side, of people, the possibility for them to rise above the mire and be bigger than the small minds who can not see beyond their own egos and selfish desires, to look at the bigger picture, and to stand tall, even when there is disappointment.

    I did, when I was there. Never complained, never made a big deal, just dealt with the crap, sucked it up, took my medicine, and did my best to carry the rock forward, until my time came, if it ever would, and long did I doubt that it would, I long since gave up on that, and just did my best with what was left, and then one day, it all changed, and I was brought back here, to this place.

    And, now it’s come to this, and this one, this one who I once brought into this great place, who I talked into considering the opportunity, and mentored, and defended, and gave them the room to grow, and held the detractors at bay in order to give them that time they needed to sort it all out, and now they’ve come this far, and in their disappointment, instead of learning the lesson and accepting the growth opportunity that it was, they instead decided to take the easy route, the one that required stabbing those who have been there for them right in the back, and twisting the knife, and telling bald-faced lies to make their point, their twisted point that I always knew they were bigger than, but now am forced to realize just how small they really are, maybe always were, and have to face the fact that maybe I was wrong all along, maybe the detractors were always right, and maybe they never did deserve any of this, and maybe I never should have reached out and convinced them to consider coming here and taking this opportunity, because they would eventually do what they did, and even though I took it like a kick to the nuts, and gasped for breath, and felt the hollow feeling of utter betrayal, and knew he would say, or maybe just think, “I tried to tell you, but I won’t say I told you so”, all I really have to say, at the end of it all, is –

    Wow.

    You could have been so much more than this. You could have achieved it all, fair and square, the right way, through honest effort and learning how to truly lead, but I guess I was wrong, you never could see past your own damn self…could you?

    It’s too bad. I’m so very disappointed. Ya coulda been more.

    Don't worry about me - it's just a flesh wound. I've taken much worse hits than this, and carried on. This is nothing. Just like you.
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