There is something inside me, no matter how I love or what ecstatic moments are shared, that wants to be alone. I'm not afraid of intimacy or vulnerability. I feel the most serene when I am on my own, in the quiet.
It's a strange thing, I think, for a woman to admit this. Most in my acquaintance want things that I don't necessarily want--to build homes with partners and young ones. To have things their parents had, but more. Despite how far women have come, we still have to explain ourselves if we want something... not that.
I want alone time. My own space. Private, personal adventures, in my own head and abroad. Motion. Change. I imagine myself getting on a train and going, going... gone.
But here I am. Conflicted, and in one spot. It's not them, it's me.