I had decided to go home.
It wasn't that I didn't want to be wild and free anymore. It's just that I'd realised that I needed to be wild and free. And despite what it looked like. I really wasn't. And I was done kidding myself.
The night I left Lawrence, Kansas I remember being most touched that the women from the strip club came to the party to say goodbye. But all that is another story
Even after the first flight from Kansas to LA and then the second from LA to Bangkok, I was still high.
And I guess that's how Tony spotted me. Not that anyone else would have noticed. You'd have to be deeply intimate with that life to know.
When I say 'that kind of life' I mean, the kind that flies in and out of countries at your own behest for nothing more than the adventure and the road.
Like a hobo, but International.
I'd been in and out of Bangkok a lot by that touch down. It didn't phase me to land at 2am and not have a hotel booked. I figured I'd sort it, these things had a way of working out. When Tony offered me a share of his hotel room and maybe, a little opium, it was clear I was right.
Over three days hanging out with him and the people who came and went (later I would realise they were mules - or not so much later, I was just intrigued and more than foolish. Reckless). Guido showed up. Then his friend a Peruvian Shaman. I don't remember his name but I do remember what he said to me
"Girl, why are you here? I know you, you are the Sun. You belong in the Sky. Leave"
(Guido is in the foreground, Tony in the background in this picture)