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  • I never said good bye to my mother.I was crawling from a nervious breakdown and one of the cruel side effects was my fear of flying.I had been all my life a free butterfly going to places where my work as a journalist took me.I was a bird, I was free and suddenly I became a handicapped child who had to be travelling with someone to be able to get to places.I used to think that I had been punished by an unknown force in the part of me that would hurt most: my freedom.
    My mother had been in the prison of Alzheimer for a few years.She needed constant care.My sister was an angel who looked after her when I could not even looked after myself.One 7 of December 12 years ago I had a dream.My mother appeared to me and looked so real and asked me to open my hands.She poured ashes and told me "this is what I want to leave behind" I knew she could not communicate with anybody and all her life had been claustrophobic to be buried underground.I called my sister and I told her that our mother was going to die.She was very surprise as she was in a good condition at that moment.On the 14th of December,a week after the dream I was having lunch and I choked with a piece of food. Ten minutes later I receive a call from my nephew to let me know my mother had died in the hospital in Santiago,Chile chocked by some fluids the doctor were giving her through her mouth.I was in Hong Kong and she was in Chile 33 hours flying and my phobia did not allow me to be at her farewell.
    Many dreams followed the first one.She came in one and told me she wanted to play the game that she was sick and I was going to look after her.She got inside the bed and asked me for food and her medicines.She told me this was just a game for me to be able to look after her
    When I heard the news of her death I run to my bedroom and cried and then I danced in happiness for her liberation.I still feel her on my side.When the world is to much and the burdens crush my heart I feel her love next to me.I know she understand why I was not there when she left this world.But I do not understand why she left me.
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