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  • Lots of things should be more exciting than they are. I can't tell you the number of times I've been disappointed, my imagination picturing things to be bigger, grander, more vivid, more highly coloured, more glittery...

    Anyway, this was one of those times. I'm doing a lot of toing and froing across the English Channel just now, and this time I elected to use the Channel tunnel. (Le tunnel sous La Manche, as the French insist on calling it. The Sleeve. I ask you)

    You drive along a motorway, come off at an exit, wait for a while, show your passport to a Frenchman, who waves it away, and to an Englishwoman, who questions you closely about wine, cigarettes, cocaine and knives, as if she were your mother.

    The you drive onto a train - actually that bit is quite exciting - and sitting in your car on the train, you zoom through the blackness until you emerge in another slightly sunny country, the difference being that they drive on the left.

    Off you go, straight on to the motorway...

    Almost as disappointing as Niagara Falls.
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