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  • My wife has been gone for a week waiting in witness for her mother to pass.

    Last night it happened.

    I took this picture while on a family cruise to the Panama Canal. I was new to my wife's family and were on my get to know the family vacation.There is a remote emptiness in the middle of a big water floating on a ship with gyroscopes. The steadiness fights the swells of the ocean. The pounding of prow on swell produces a fine mist and light from the ship illuminates the proximal air. A vast nothing all the way to an imaginary horizon.

    I was surprised to find some elderly people rent apartments on cruise ships? It is not quite assisted living but the beds are made, laundry is done, good meals are fixed, the nightly entertainment is acceptable, and the ship doctor close at hand. A perpetual cruise is comparable in price to small land locked assisted living apartment.

    When my dad died I felt nothing. A vast nothing like the bigness beyond the light of a cruise ship at night.
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