Forgot your password?

We just sent you an email, containing instructions for how to reset your password.

Sign in

  • San Cassimally is right. In Finland we have pizza with smoked salmon. We also have pizza with smoked reindeer, it’s named after Silvio Berlusconi who once doubted very much Finnish cooks’ capabilities of making eatable food.

    I would like however bring forth real Finnish Easter superfood, mämmi. It looks deceivingly like dog or human turd, but instead of excrement its main ingredients are rye malt and rye bread. Some historians say that mämmi have spread to Finland from ancient Babylonia.

    Rye flour is ten percent protein, comparable to fatty salmon. So mämmi is very healthy. Lots of iron in it, too. Great for anaemia.

    Homemade mämmi is sweet dessert. It is served with cream or ice cream. If you want to really enjoy yourself take a glass of marsala with mämmi.

    That was the nutritional and culinaristic aspect of mämmi. Let’s return to turd aspect.

    Finnish government has used mämmi as a tactical weapon during international negotiations for many years. When Finnish president has some Big Boss visiting Finland from East or West, he/she is served mämmi in dinnertime. Under deterrent of having to eat turd, politicians are surprisingly ready to sign treaties most favourable to our little nation.

    To save their faces at home base Big Bosses say : “Finnish people are crazy. Better turn our nuclear missiles pointing somewhere else. There’s nothing to conquer in that land. Only turd to eat.”

    And we can ring the bells of peace in our churches.
    • Share

    Connected stories:


Collections let you gather your favorite stories into shareable groups.

To collect stories, please become a Citizen.

    Copy and paste this embed code into your web page:

    px wide
    px tall
    Send this story to a friend:
    Would you like to send another?

      To retell stories, please .

        Sprouting stories lets you respond with a story of your own — like telling stories ’round a campfire.

        To sprout stories, please .

            Better browser, please.

            To view Cowbird, please use the latest version of Chrome, Safari, Firefox, Opera, or Internet Explorer.