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  • Well, you know, I was sad before. But now there is a puppy in my lap. Of course I don't have two puppies, so maybe I should go drown my sorrows after all.

    Seriously, I think this puppy is the best thing in the universe. Maybe this is what normal people feel about babies or, like, good clothes, or something. This puppy, man. I think I'm going to lose my mind.

    There may have been an existential crisis going on at some point. But then a bundle of unconditional love fell asleep on my arm. Now all I can think about is how heartbroken I'll be if he ever ever ever leaves my sight again.

    Guys, I think I might have a problem. I think I need an intervention. A puppy intervention. Because if I could grind this puppy into a fine liquid and shoot it into my veins without killing him in the process, I would.

    Puppies, man. The best of all of the everything.
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