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  • I am selfish in this: I do not like to share books with people who I think will ill-use them- not dislike them, but ill-use them.

    In this, too, do I feel elitist and selfish: I do not share my thoughts with most people, which is all right- but it's for the wrong reason. I think: they will not get it. They will not have read the right books.
    Who am I to say I have? Who am I to feel self-righteous and smug and think that I am better than they are? Who am I to say they haven't read these books?

    Maybe- this has been the strain of late- maybe it is an excuse I use for things I feel, say, do. I think I use it to make myself feel better, and I think, horribly, that it works.

    I think, Devora, that you think a little too highly of yourself.
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