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  • At first I thought I peed in my pants.

    It was 3:00 am. As I walked to the bathroom, I felt moisture running down my leg. Really? Am I peeing in my pants? Sitting on the toilet I tried peeing but nothing happened. Standing up, more liquid leaked down my leg.

    Oh. My. God!

    "It's coming out!" I screamed hysterically at my stomach.
    "It's coming out!" I yelled at my friend Jennifer through the phone line.
    "It's coming out!" I yelled at my father down the hall.

    The baby was early and I wasn't ready. During all those months, I had not thought about the logistics of giving birth. I thought about having a baby but never about getting the baby out. How the hell was that baby going to get out of my body?

    At the hospital, the doctor looked at my chart.
    "This baby is NOT going to be an April Fools baby."
    "OK." I said wondering how long I could keep the baby inside of me. One week? Two weeks?

    A few hours later, I was in an operating room and a nurse stood on a chair pushing on my stomach which made me laugh (with the help of drugs.)
    "What are you doing?" I asked the woman pressing down on me.
    "The baby's stuck. We have to move her around."

    I watched as she pushed, and I laughed as she ripped me apart.

    17 years later, I'm glad I laughed when she arrived. I'm glad I laughed, but not at her, because she will never be an April fool's joke.

    Happy Birthday Taylor
    (Thank you for still making me laugh)
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