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  • I woke up this morning and started digging in the backyard. It was part of a big plan that will somehow come to completion by bedtime on Tuesday.

    Kat woke up and suggested that I go to the 'Pot to rent a tiller. So I went to the 'Pot to rent a tiller. But it was the one out in Hercules, which I'd never been to, and it took me a while to get there. The guy told me the soil was probably too hard to use the small tiller, and I could see that there was no way I was getting the big one home in the car.

    So I left without a tiller, and got lost on the return, as I will. Two hours later, I got home.

    And then we started digging in the backyard again. Not deep. Twelve, eighteen inches down at most.

    And we found all manner of things. Worms. Tree roots; big ones. A salamander, which I swear squeaked at me when I disturbed his hiding place. Rusted out copper pipes. A few hex tiles; the kind we'd love to have in our bathroom now and which were probably there once upon a time. Al perfume bottle of some sort that looks really old. It was apparent that someone or some ones over the course of the past 85 years since the house was built had been using the backyard for burying things.

    And we talked about how great it would be if we found dinosaur bones, because then we could sell our property to the city or the county or the state and then we could go move to Berkeley.

    And Kat started talking about how the neighbors were probably wondering about why we were digging shallow graves in our yard. What with us digging shallow graves and all. And Kat said digging graves would be a bad job. And I agreed.

    And then we talked about how cool it would be if we found some old human bones, and if we got tangled up in a reopened homicide case from 1930 or something. And then Kat suggested that would be really cool, because that would mean the cops would come and dig up our yard and we wouldn't have to do it anymore. And I agreed.

    But then we decided it would be unlikely that we would find human remains, so it was up to us.

    Then Isabel offered her thought that maybe we could go find some gorilla bones, as an alternative, and as a ruse to get the authorities to dig up our yard, "since gorilla bones are so like human bones."

    I pointed out that there was a glitch there, as gorilla bones weren't very readily available. For that matter, I pointed out, it would probably be easier for us to find someone (a human) who we could do away with, then bury to dig up and find their bones, than it would be to find gorilla bones.

    We decided, all around, that was a case of a really good idea gone really bad.

    Anyway, a quarter of the yard is done. Three quarters to go.
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