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  • I cannot fix Radiation Machines,
    neither can I produce medicines urgently needed
    to continue Chemotherapies.
    Neither lives nor marriages
    are in my hands
    to save.

    The young widower cries and sobs:
    she was just 26 years old....
    Later a young couple with a baby is ready to scratch each other´s eyes out -
    A university professor, fifty-ish, discovers that maybe she never wanted to be a university professor,
    she always wanted to design fashion
    but never dared to try-

    Really: I listen to all these true and wrenching lifestories
    and can just do that:

    Sometimes I feel my own tears well up,
    or my fury,
    my infinite impotence -

    I can sit still,
    ask certain questions,
    express my feelings,
    be still and quiet.
    I can be in silence with another person
    for quite some time.

    I can offer:
    I won´t charge you...

    Then I leave into the unusual heat,
    the sunlight beats down on and blinds me.

    I get home and the only thing I want is:
    to throw myself into the hammock!

    From there I watch my garden:
    joyful spring all around me
    with birds calling, jumping, flying
    and singing.

    I stay there for hours
    and let
    creep into
    my old bones....


    Crabapple Tree flowering in my garden and a lot of other stuff, thanks to God into whom I am not sure I believe
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