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  • So you had your heart broken and you toughened up. You locked away your emotions and hung with the boys. You laughed at their dirty jokes, batted your eyelids and flirted - seeming like the perfect catch..
    The curvy brunette who could hang with the guys and still be a chick.
    You were their perfect woman - a cracking combo of their best friend but with a female body to check out and perv about between themselves.

    You switched off your emotions in the bedroom too - faux porn starring it with the spread thighs, the trimmed pubic hair, the queen of the 'biting the bottom lip pose' and happily bent over, sucked, teased, licked and origami'd yourself into a hundred and one positions for his viewing pleasure. It never quite hit the emotional spot that 'he' used to, but then that's what you wanted - to keep it physical, light, fun and yourself as the eternal perfect catch - the woman who could fuck like a woman and yet lock away the emotions like a man. No follow up calls the next day, no soppy texts or messages and no double entendre Facebook status updates. You could play the game like a guy - leave it a few days and hit them up with a casual 'hey stinker - how's it going?' knowing it'd have them rushing back for more of the chase.

    And then it happened. One night when you were trying desperately to feel like a woman by bending, squatting, oooo ooooo ahhhing your way through more emotion-free sex as you enjoyed the feeling of his large hands running across your back and around your hips, the feel of his big fingers gently probing between your legs and lips on yours as he jostled you into position. It happened right there. In the space of a few thrusts something tingled inside you. You'd had orgasms before. The Debbie Does Dallas versions and the intense rippling waves that judder through your body and leave you breathless.
    But this was different.
    This was his body making yours feel like a woman.
    This was deep, intense and almost spiritual and made breathless sighs come out of your mouth the likes of which you hadn't heard in a very long time. This was slow and yet urgent, deep and fulfilling and it was as if a switch had flicked on and sent a pink glow of light throughout your insides. You suddenly felt the weight of him pushing into you, you felt the strength and grip of his large hands and you felt more like a woman in that moment than you had for years. It was mind-blowing - not in a crazy fucked out way - but in a running through a poppy field kinda way. It wasn't a huge pulsing orgasm that burst from you but a very slow and delicate flutter that lasted for longer than usual...... something happened. Something happened that shouldn't have happened - especially as he's 'unhappily married', has been for 12 years and you'd both been clear that, although you were sometimes falling for each other, the deal was made that this wasn't going anywhere. And it probably wasn't. But yet, 'this' just happened.

    Afterwards you felt tired and floaty, serene, relaxed and still glowing with that rose pink aura. You weren't your usual perky, funny, upbeat self - ready with a quite line and a teasing tickle...

    You were more of a woman in that moment - as you tried to do things that made you remember you are a woman, than you'd been for a very long time.

    Something happened. something changed. And i don't know where it goes from here cos the landscape suddenly looks very different and I want him to see me as a lady and not a bloke with a female body.....

    what to do.....???
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