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  • J: Ab, you got the guitar?
    A: Yeah
    J: Excellent – how does it feel to finally be getting your hands on it?
    A: Simply awesome – can’t wait to pick it up tonight.
    J: Brilliant, what are you gonna call her?
    A: Yeah, can’t wait, the place is in…, wait - what?
    J: Don’t say pick it up tonight – pick him/her tonight.
    A: It’s a guitar, J – not a date.
    J: That’s why you should name it.
    A: Ok, again – what?
    J: I don’t understand how that sentence could possibly confuse you.
    A: Ok, I don’t understand how that sentence could possibly not confuse me, and for that matter, you.
    J: I am saying, it’s something that has value yes?
    A: Yes
    J: Then name it, has more meaning.
    A: This conversation is surreal.
    J: What’s wrong with naming something you value?
    A: Off the top of my head - everything.
    J: You got that off the top of your head? That needs examining. (At this point, my forehead gets flicked)
    A: Ok, now what was that for?
    J: To get the idea off the top of your head, and into it.
    A: Ok – I can see this is a losing battle.
    J: You are reasonably more perceptive than you look like. So yes – let’s name it.
    A: Ok - fine.
    J: So, what do you wanna name it?
    A: Gee, I dunno – I literally "got" the idea two seconds and a flick ago.
    J: You are welcome – name her Amy or Lily.
    A: How did you come up with this in 2 seconds?
    J: I did not. I knew them since you told me you were getting a guitar.
    A: And what makes you think I will let you name my guitar?
    J: Four things – a flick, one more flick, you don’t have an earthly idea of what to name her, and you know I will name her better because I like naming things.
    A: I know what I am going to name her, wait, why her?
    J: Because I decree it’s beautiful to not be masculine.
    A: Ok, that’s just bizarre on many different levels.
    J: Whatever – call her Amy or Lily.
    A: No, I wanna call him Gandalf.
    J: Ab, I mean this with the best of intentions (and at this point I got a second flick)
    A: ok, you have to stop doing that.
    J: Name her Amy.
    A: No. (One more flick) Aarghhhh. Will you, in the name of all that’s good, stop it?
    J: Name her Amy.
    A: This way I don't get to name her.
    J: That's a personal problem.
    A: Why do you wanna name her Amy? Heck, why do you wanna name her at all?
    J: Come on, it’s fun naming things, and you suck at that anyways.
    A: I so do not.
    J: Clearly, Gandalf is an inspired choice – dude, you once told me if you had a dog you would name it NightWing.
    A: ok, so you are being commandeering and condescending all at once.
    J: Ok, I am sending an email out to the gang that you are picking Amy up.
    A: No don’t, it’s not a date – you are going to go out of your way to make it sound like one.
    J: Then let me name her Amy.
    A: I can’t believe this is happening.
    J: So, Amy it is.
    A: I woke up on the wrong side of the bed today morning.
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