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  • My son and I have had the same ritual for years. My life would be less of a life without it. To understand it, it requires a translation and a pronunciation guide for the casual observer and even family members who have been witness to it for years.

    Maahm: Mom. n. Sounds like ma'am, but not in the formal sense. It must be uttered quickly, almost quipped, with a quasi Canadian/Tennessee accent. Good luck!
    Maan: Grant. n. Sounds like man. My son. 27 years old, chef, boxer, original humorist. *Spelling is for texting and chat purposes.

    Sample Conversations and Translations:

    Me: Maan?
    Grant: Maahm!
    Translation: Grant, is that you? Yeah, just walked in the door.

    Me: Maan!
    Grant: Maahm!
    Translation: I haven't heard from you in a while, I miss you. Miss you too.

    Me: Maan!
    Grant: Maahm.
    Translation: I am shocked that you would say that (usually it is hilarious). I'm awesome.

    Grant: Maahm?
    Me: Maan.
    Translation: Will you be okay? I will be fine.

    Grant: Maahm.
    Me: Maan.
    Translation: I love you. I love you, too.
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