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  • one day i lost my mind
    it happened like this
    towards the end of
    a long meditation retreat

    i walked outside
    and sat down on
    a bench underneath
    a tree and then:

    . . .

    afterwards. i tried
    to put it into
    words...syllable
    by syllable

    but i couldn't
    words were just lies

    it felt like a void
    except it was full

    it felt like oneness
    except less than zero
    but beyond infinity

    for a long time
    i tried to capture
    that experience
    again. Make it mine.

    it didn't work.

    But then it happened
    again. spontaneously.

    like a sugar cube
    dissolved in water
    such sweetness.

    And again. And
    again.

    finally. i understood.

    the mind is a river
    a verb. not a noun.

    always in flux
    never ceasing
    always becoming

    once i realized
    "I" did not exist

    that my mind was
    a loop of thoughts
    rewinding
    back and forth
    past and future
    never now

    everything melted
    the glaciers
    thawed

    i relaxed
    ungrasped

    life started living
    loving

    (public mural near folsom and 24th in san francisco)
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