I went to the nudist camp. I was very uncomfortable.
So self-conscious disrobing, since I am shy anyhow and always feel judged negatively.
But I persisted: I had larger aims in mind today. This was important.
Naked, I sat in my beach chair. And sat, and worked on becoming more relaxed. Breathing,
you know, that kind of thing. Reminding myself that it's not about me, at least not in that way.
Noticing that others were not particularly looking at me. Good enough, the work can begin.
Looking around at the others. Hairy. Flabby. Scrawny. Wrinkled. Upright and hunched over. Mottled. Birthmarked and moled, vaccinated and scarred. In sum: a mess.
Could I find a way for them to be attractive? Could I rescue myself and find a desire to gaze or ogle or touch, or a fantasy to love any of them?
I sat, and looked and looked. Breathing better now. Noticing faces and facial expressions, bodies in motion and at rest. People talking to one another, seriously and with laughter. Warmth is stirring in me, finally...
Surrounded by real humans! Escaping from the constant bombardment of advertising: faux-people, with their armies of dressers, posers, photographers, photo-shoppers, makeup artists, air-brushers, editors, croppers...
I sing the (real) body electric! I flip my bird at the body digital!
[Image from: http://www.google.com/imgres?q=naked+crowd&hl=en&biw=1440&bih=673&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=LqBzHS3qoazQ-M:&imgrefurl=http://www.covertcomic.com/CC_The%2520Naked%2520Intelligence%2520Officer.htm&docid=2D3B0Mgo7Ag8zM&imgurl=http://www.covertcomic.com/CC_Naked_In_Public_01.jpg&w=379&h=253&ei=ZFJyT-e9JqO0iwL2-Y2_AQ&zoom=1&iact=rc&dur=300&sig=115374866049617418343&page=1&tbnh=146&tbnw=196&start=0&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&tx=52&ty=81]