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  • Morris lives on a boat on the river that runs through a small town in Essex famous for its salt and sailing barges. Technically he lives on a yacht but as it has no sails and doesn’t ever go anywhere it’s become more of a houseboat. He drives a brown Ford Capri which has cigarette ends overflowing from every storage compartment within reach of the drivers’ seat. He seems to blend in with the grey interior behind a plume of cigarette smoke. He recently upgraded his boat because it was starting to fall apart and because he was fed up of having to chase crabs off the deck with a broom at low tide. When he was faced with the expensive task of taking his old boat out of the water and getting rid of it he managed to avoid unnecessary cost and hassle by taking it apart bit by bit and floating the pieces down the river when nobody was looking. He did this every night until it disappeared completely.
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