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  • She walked to the window and stared out at the children playing on the lawn. She could hear the sounds of their voices, not the words, but the laughter with giggling tones of merriment. She saw the twinkling of merriment in their eyes and rejoiced in the magic of the day.

    It was not so long ago that there were tears of sadness and longing, and the feelings still were found within her heart if she allowed them to surface. It is now that she brings them forward because she knows that what is present will always remain within her reach.

    She moves away from the window and goes into the kitchen to finish up the chores of washing and drying the dishes. Busy with her hands, she reflects upon the sorrow that was a kindred friend for many years. She came to accept it as the basis of her life and never asked if it could ever cease or be replaced with another feeling.

    Her mind drifts to the days when she had lost her greatest love, the love of herself. To recapture her spirit, she knew she had to let go of the sorrow and begin her life in a new and different way. She did not know what to do and where to turn. Her belief was shattered and a new cowardliness of deception replaced her strength.

    Now she remembers the circumstances and wishes to face the reality of the situation and how it came to be that she found love through the transformation of her own worth.

    It was not a day that was any thing special, the usual 8 to 5 PM workday. Get up, wakeup, and run to catch the bus for work, and run to catch the bus home. The weather was balmy, a light warm breeze brought leaves and flower petals floating in the air. She felt different on this day. She felt as if her life was becoming stagnant and her thoughts were turning inward, burrowing deep into her soul to find answers and coming back with a silent voice. Her life consisted of a place to live and exist with the familiarity of precious memories of the past. Her heart seemed to be aching and her body seemed to shout to her, “Stop this foolishness.” She walked up the stairs to her apartment, now feeling that every step she was taking was with concrete in her shoes. She kept repeating to herself, “A few more steps, and I will make it inside to rest a few moments.” As she reached the door, she felt dizzy and with a shaking hand, tried to put the key in the lock. The keys dropped to the ground, and she felt herself falling. She could do nothing, she had lost control.

    Chapter Two to follow....
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