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  • Despite the first day of spring being cold and wet here, I decided it would be best to silence the inner critic and go out for a run anyway. There’s been too much on my mind lately. Somehow sitting inside on the couch, wallowing in the weightiness of my thoughts is NOT the answer to all my questions.

    During the first quarter of my run, I dodged puddles, cursed the bittersweetness of gorgeous, damp, pollen-y dogwood blossoms teasing my allergies, and fell into a decent rhythm. This is where my mind begins to loosen.

    Little by little.

    Thought by thought.

    Rounding the corner into the second half of my run I decided to snake my way back through new neighborhoods and different streets. By this time, those heavy, all-consuming thoughts untangle to the point of coming undone. Stepping in puddles right and left, they fall away. I come to the usual, stunningly simple conclusion that all that noise carried around in my head DOESN’T MATTER.

    Guess what. None of it is worth the weight I assign it on a daily basis.

    The bills will be paid.

    Dinner will be made.

    Students in my class will eventually, miraculously remember how to add fractions with different denominators.

    Time will be carved out to create new prints.

    The broccoli seedling starts that are struggling to grow will survive. If not, I’ll plant more.

    The perfect [fill in the blank: house, garden, family, bank account balance, job, government] is just an illusion. Accept and move on.

    Spring is here. Life always manages to take care of itself. Isn’t that simply enough? Silent words get woven into a makeshift Cowbird entry by the time I arrive home again. I suppose running is my preferred method of meditation these days. It takes active movement to lasso and counteract the cadence of thoughts in my head at any given moment.

    Good thing.
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