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  • I was never good at keeping a diary. I made a first and very serious attempt in 1982, when I was "10 yers old" as the flyleaf says.

    When I read it now, it's apparent why I never had the energy to keep updating the diaries i started. It's an obsessive numbering of everything, like what we ate, who were there etc. Like a protocol or inventory. Or in the meal sections: like something Enid Blyton would have written in the Famous Five-series.

    The first entry is an account if everything we ate the final day of school before christmas, and how many attended (27 children and 41 adults, a total of 68 persons).

    I've left out most bad things that happened to me, out of fear that my mother would read it. And every time there is a gap when I didn't write, the next entry is a recap of what has happened since the last time I wrote.

    There are emotions, relations and important stuff in it to. But most of it is made up. Out of fear that my mother or someone else would read it, I tried to make my life look more normal and successful than it was.

    True emotion though: there are a lot of entries about my younger cousin. How ugly the gingerbread figures she made was, and how I suspected that she secretly ate out of the decorations on the gingerbread house. How she ruined the jigsaw-puzzle i was doing.

    I only kept it up until spring 1983, and then gave up.
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