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  • I met with one of my closest friends today, after not seeing her for a month albeit living in the same city. She had been going through a long (bordering on exhausting) breakup process with a guy who was also a friend of mine . They dated for 5 years only for one of them to realize they weren't sure. About each other. (Have I told you they dated for 5 years?) They separated on good terms, though much trauma was left inside.

    We met over dinner and she brought along her new boyfriend. I did not at all find the whole thing awkward or shocking, cause to me it just seemed about time for a step forward. They met at work and had very few friends in common, if at all. She openly told me (and by 'open' i mean: in front of her very nice new guy) how scared she was with the idea of starting new.

    Having been in friendship-based relationships, committing with someone you're only getting acquainted to was an idea she found too bizarre to understand. What if he was a psycho? What if she turned out to be within his definition of one? The new guy made her happy. She refused to be. She claimed herself--her previous relationship, more like--a legit proof of how the relevance of that giddy, happy, butterflies-in-the-stomach, feeling can be deceiving. From now on, she said, 'certainty' of the future is all that mattered. The future being marriage.

    I told her how much I think happiness is important when it comes to romantic attachments. How much that giddy, happy, butterflies-in-the-stomach feeling tend to become underrated after awhile and 'certainty' of the future overrated as one grows older. The future being marriage. I told her how I still see happiness as a very relevant indicator to measure the future of such attachments. How, to me, the way to be certain is to be happy. How, when you're that happy, the future can take its time and I will not even mind.

    I'm no love guru but I hope she got what I meant.
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