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  • We thought we'd have a really relaxing holiday - sunbathing while the little darling made sandcastles and toddled into the sea.
    But he alternated between demanding food (with menaces) from neighbouring couples on the sand, and simply legging it until he was out of sight beyond a fishing boat, dragged up on the beach.
    We had to take it in turns to be on patrol.
    He was seventeen months and had a new word. Pointing into the sky, he remarked "hairpin!"
    Aeroplane, we hazarded.
    One day, he stood determinedly next to a German couple eating melon, looking hungry. When they ignored him, he peed on their towel.
    Good on him.
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