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Were you born complete? by Pamela Palacios
 

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  • Break ups are hard for everyone. I think.

    I guess I can only speak for myself and for those who I've witnessed crying after their ex-significant other has punched through their chest, grabbed their hearts in a fistful and throw it down on the cold concrete only to add insult to injury and stomp on it until it has no beats left in it.

    This happened to me a week ago.

    When I was younger, I would cry my eyes out to my friends and even acquaintances. Anyone who would listen to the pain I needed to get off my chest and out of my mind. Eventually, I realized that the wisdom the majority of them spewed was useless.

    "Forget him!"

    Oh yeah? Easier said than done.

    "Here. You should try smoking. It'll relieve your stress"

    ...and give me cancer.

    "He didn't deserve you"

    So why do I feel like I wasn't good enough?

    "Ugh. He was probably gay"

    How is THAT supposed to help?

    "Best way to get over a guy is to hook up with someone else....want to hook up?"

    Ugh!

    Of course, I've grown up and so have the people I surround myself with so I don't get terribly useless advice anymore (except for that last one). However, this time, the first people I went to after the break up were my parents. In particular, my father.

    At first, I was afraid of his criticism, which I did receive in-between comforting words like "Don't go wasting time getting depressed", "Just get over it" and "I knew you guys were going to break up. I just knew it. You guys weren't meant to last". My father is just warm and fuzzy like that.

    However, the most poignant words my father uttered the day of the break-up resonated in me in a way I still can't figure out.

    "Some people believe in soul mates; they believe that there is someone out there specially made for them in order for them to feel complete, BE complete. Then, there are those who say 'Hey, I was born alone and whole, I don't need someone to make me feel complete. I would just like someone to share my life with'. "

    I don't know which one of those I really am. I guess the only way to figure out is to set out to find myself and see if I feel complete.

    But when does that search end? When do I know to stop searching for myself in order to start searching for my other half?

    When do I know if I'm complete?
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