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  • You've gotta have heart
    All you really need is heart
    When the odds are sayin'
    You'll never win
    That's when the grin should start

    You've gotta have hope
    Mustn't sit around and mope
    Nothin's half as bad as it may appear
    Wait'll next year and mope

    When your luck is battin' zero
    Get your chin up off the floor
    Mister you can be a hero
    You can open any door
    There's nothin' to it, but to do it

    You gotta have heart
    Miles and miles and miles of heart
    Oh, it's fine to be a genius of course
    But keep that old horse before the cart
    First you've gotta have heart.

    (From "Damn Yankees" by Jerry Ross and Richard Adler)
  • What's this song got to do with anything? Oh, I don't know. But you got to admit it's got heart!

    When I was growing up in Council Bluffs, Iowa, my mom would drag us to the local Chanticleer Theatre. Then sometimes to the big city to The Omaha Playhouse where Henry Fonda got his start from Marlon Brando's mom.

    By the time I was 18 I had probably seen every musical popular to that day and knew all the words by heart. I remember Damn Yankees very clearly. Plus there was the movie.
  • Joe Hardy, an older paunchy married man, but avid baseball fan of the Washington Senators, sells his soul to the devil so that the Senators can break the winning streak of the Yankees. He does so with a "get out" clause, however.

    The devil turns him into a young star player for the Senators. But Joe has to leave his wife behind, and as time goes on this becomes more and more difficult. He rents a room from his wife to be near her. The devil does everything he can to keep Joe's soul though, including tempting him with the sultry Lola!
    {Whatever Lola wants .... Lola gets (song)}.

    But in the end true love wins out and even Lola helps Joe, realizing he loves his wife. In the final play of the game, where the Senators could win over the Yankees, Joe rescinds his deal with the devil and is turned back to his older, out-of-shape self. None the less he makes the play and wins the game as himself.
  • I woke up this morning
    about 3 a.m.
    Can't sleep.
    It is my anniversary.
    One week anniversary.

    A week ago today I was in the ER with a heart attack.

    That is a weird title.
    Does your heart really attack you? I don't think so.

    I like heart break.

    Maybe the heart just wears out.

    That's what I have - heart failure - just a little bit - in one area. It may make a come back. If it was total I wouldn't be writing this story.
  • The cardiologist gave me the run down in the ER. We'll do the angiogram and if we find blockage I will put in stints. Maybe one, maybe more.

    There is a possibility of open heart surgery depending on what we find. If that happens you will be moved to another hospital and a surgeon will be ready.

    Then he goes into all the worst case scenarios doing due diligence to help me understand the dangers.

    But you think - what choice do I have - knowledge or no knowledge? I would always choose knowledge. Not - life - at all costs. But - knowledge - at all costs.
  • It's funny what things cross your mind.

    In the Heart Cath lab were two young men. The first one was very bubbly and talking non-stop.

    He told me the second one is a super star of the Cath Lab.

    I moan, "Oh, no." I look at number two and he is quiet.

    Number one asks why I said that. I say, "Never-mind."

    He couldn't know my angst with all the superstars and their kudos from my work place.

    Just do the job, I'm thinking. Like an ordinary Joe.

    Then I hear the doctor talking from behind some curtain where there is obviously a computer. The wizard. ("Who is that little man behind the curtain?) I am the Great and Powerful Oz! Just kidding!

    I hear the doctor say something to number one. Then number one says, "I didn't look that far into her records." By the tone of his voice, I can tell the doctor is dismayed with number one. Of course,I'm already strapped onto a guerney under some machine while this is going down. But the doctor came out from the curtain and was of course, very hands on thru the rest of it. Threading tubes into my body reaching my failing heart. I was in a pleasant haze unaware or uncaring of any lurking dangers.

    Fortunately, I'm somewhat confident in the doctor since he has cared for a number of my patients, although today was the first time I met him. I learned later that he studied at a University in Syria and speaks fluent Arab. Whether he is Syrian or Arab, I don't know. I do know I put complete trust in him.

    I was awake enough during the procedure to hear the doctor say there were no blockages so all of those worst case scenarios faded from my mind.

    As number one and number two wheeled me down the hallway to my hospital room, number one constantly chattered. I knew the minute I met him he had ADHD, hyperactive type. On the way down the hallway I considered addressing it.

    "Are you ADHD? You know, a medication could really help. My son takes Concerta and it really helps him."

    But ... I didn't say that. Even in my condition, lying on a guerney, my social work instincts and power of observation were kicked in.

    However, they had given me Valium and Demerol and something else, so number one would have probably dismissed my comments as drug induced.

    I still wonder though, if I should have said something. Then maybe he could be more focused on patient records. Oh well.
  • Anyway, I have one more day to write about after I got to the hospital room. Nothing too exciting. Nothing to do with number one or number two, who apparently did their jobs despite ADHD and being a superstar.

    You don't need super star status. Just be a regular Joe and you'll get the job done boys. You'll hit a home run.

    Just like the doc. Steady as she goes.
  • Hey - I'm dedicating this to Hawkeye just because I know he is a HUGE baseball fan but also a regular Joe who loves his wife and who can do his job without superstar status and he can hit a home run without selling his soul to the devil. May we all be so powerful!
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