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  • At least I thought It would be forever, March 3, 2012 was the day we were no longer we...

    In previous months we've been fighting. We weren't close to each other like we had been for so long. It was my fault though. I was distant. I'm not quite sure why but I was. He kept trying to break through the wall I kept putting up but I never gave in.

    I do love him and I know I always will.

    He deserves better right now. He needs to explore life without me. I hold him back.

    It had almost been 4 years. And now its not.

    I sit here... alone crying. I think about how his smiles with excitement over batman. I think of his warm brown eyes looking down at me in the cold rain. I remember the day we said I love you and the butterflies that wiggled inside me. I remember the cuddling we did and how we used to hold hands where ever we were. I remember the long nights where we wouldn't sleep at all because we didn't want to miss a moment of each other. I remember when I was too scared to eat in front of him because I thought I was fat. I remember how fun we used to be and how much I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. I remember him holding me when I cried and hugging me when I laughed. I remember the beautiful simple gifts we would exchange at holidays.

    But I also remember how I screamed at him. I remember how much I hated his friends and never let him see them. I remember the feeling of being ditched. I remember how badly I felt when he wouldn't listen or come over to see me. I remember the fights over him wanting to be with other girls.

    I remember what were used to be, what were were a few years ago, and I remember what we are now.

    I'm letting him go so he can live without constant constraints on him. He is a human just like we all are and he deserves to be free and happy. He deserves life and I was sucking it out of him with every minute we were together.
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