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  • This picture was taken at MOCA in La Jolla with my now most recent ex and her boy. It had been awhile since I dated someone with a kid. I always said I avoided dating women with kids because when the break-up most likely came, it would be doubly bad because I’d lose a kid as well. However, the real reason was simply because I didn’t want the responsibility or any limits on my freedom. But in May my daughter graduated college and left for Europe, and after spending the day crying after her plane left, I thought maybe now would be the time to date someone with a kid. Not that I could replace one with the other, but I admit that kind of motivation. So I went to the online dating site and started, for the first time, replying to inquiries and starting conversations with women with kids. The first lady I dated had two kids, which was a little too much. Plus she was a former prosecutor who had rather conservative ideas about child-rearing. But the second mom I dated was an artist who taught homeless kids, my type of girl. Her boy was pretty cool too, huge, already 3 feet tall and not yet four. Full of bouncy energy and enthusiasm, we played fight club and wrestled on his mom’s bed on a daily basis. We got along really well. But after a few months I realized that he was suffering from the only-kid syndrome, he could get away with anything he wanted and always remained the focus of all attention. Soon it became, when is it my place to voice my opinion on parenting? After this photo was taken the three of us went to a café and got some pastries, and the boy was acting up and jumping around, with mom doing nothing to stop him except saying no over and over again. When I started to say something, I got a look that told me to shut up. In the end, it made no difference, I was dumped soon after. And man do I miss that boy. The break-up when a kid is involved does suck extra. I was already checking out which charter schools I was going to camp in front of.
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