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  • I realized my existence. From nothing I came, collected, to be there. I didn't know or think, I just was.

    It was a valley with grass growing up to my waist. All of it dead or dying; dried of life, of substance. The far end of the valley was line with ominous mountains; blades of earthen power torn from the ground. The whole sky was a dark nebula; Green, violets, reds and blues Sparsely clouded the sky and behind them was the universe so brilliant, so complex, so angry. Never had I seen a more angry sky.

    I turned to see it. A castle at the top of a steep hill. A narrow, rocky trail lead a sole up the sheer bluff. Outside the fortress' sole gate stood an ancient tree; gnarled, partially burned and deformed with age; hardly a leaf grew on its branches, yet it was alive; thriving in the barren field.

    It was imperative for me to be in the fortress, to save or protect something. It's as though the whole universe's existence depended on me getting there first; me saving something of which I had no knowledge. And quickly, for he would soon appear.

    As soon as I thought of him, imagined his terror, he existed. With a colossal crashing that sounded as though the universe was rended in two, he accumulated his existence. It was beautiful, frightening, powerful. I ducked, using the brush as my cover. He was higher, closer than I to the structure. He could not get there first. He looked across the field as I did; admiring With his sunken eyes the beauty and ferocity that surrounded his being. As he turned to the castle, my soul ached for I knew he knew where it lay, what it was.

    Without a second thought, I rushed towards him and in our collision, our existences mingled into an existential struggle of heat, power, and the coldness of death. I felt as though my soul were being stretched infinitely thin; tearing the essential fibers of my existence. The pain was infinite: tearing, gnashing, burning and endless fear. He saw, knew me and I him. More intimate than a lover; closer than a friend. We were one. And I was thrown from him, whirling through the unreal till I was realized once more.

    I stood in a familiar place. It was a bathroom; foreign at first and structured of marble, the more I studied it, the more familiar it became. As if it changed to be part of my past, part of my being. I tried to release myself once more into the 4-dimensional me, but my mind was like plasma. Slower and slower I experienced until I couldn't see anything that wasn't there, that wasn't now.

    Fear once again creeped up, but I couldn't remember why. Trying only lead to more fear, more intense pain. I knew I had to do something, but couldn't remember what. I was limited, but from what, I couldn't know. The walls began to close in on me- or perhaps it was only in my mind.

    There I stood, naked in a bathroom too familiar to me, without a clue how I got there or who I was. I exited and followed a plain hall across unfamiliar carpet to stairs I knew would be there; but how I knew, I did not know. At the bottom of the stairs, he stood there, gaping up at my naked form. He was shocked, afraid, I could tell. But once he saw it was me, he relaxed. And in that mutual realization, i began to weep. It's as if i longed to see him before i knew who he was. Memories upon memories filled my mind. As they entered, any memories of my other self- my true self- left. A second figure rushed to his side with a bat, ready to strike.

    He assured his other that I was okay, that he knew me. We only briefly spoke over a warm cup of tea. I wore his clothes. They, too were familiar of a time long past. While his other called me a cab, we exchanged memories; avoiding all the painful ones, the ones filled with passion and romance. I was shaken, It was obvious- at every attempt at comfort, I chose instead solidarity.

    Leaving, I said nothing. I climbed in the back of the cab. The driver- too familiar- asked where I was headed. I told him I didn't know, anywhere but there. As we drove away, I looked up at the sky that- like I- was on the verge of tears. It was though the sky was angry at me for something; something I forgot. Something I could not possibly remember. Never before had I seen an angrier sky.
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