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  • I live on Outrageous Avenue, south of Pioneer Plaza.The Jack in the Boxes, Best Buys and Chili’s are creeping up on us
    like alligators from the nearby swamp. That is a real bad metaphor, but that’s what it feels like. It was good to find you,
    at least I hope this is YOU, on Facebook, or was it My Space, or Your Tube, or the Google Group. Hi There! :) It's me!!!

    (It's ME, the Cyber Goddess! LOL The Cyber Goddess who uses a photo of her Rottweiler - ha ha! THAT Cyber Goddess!)

    If I told you what goes on around here you wouldn’t believe it. I mean, like, you really really really wouldn’t believe it.
    A guy or gal could do a Doctoral Dissertation in Cultural Anthropology, just studying the clowns, schizos and nut cases, that live here,
    who call this part of town home, except me of course. I am, like, SO exceedingly normal it hurts sometimes.

    (I am feeling a need to tell you a bit more about myself here! This is a photo of me in my Cleopatra Avatar!!!!)

    I have taken Tae Kwon Do and NLP, and been Rolfed, so my life is more or less in perfect balance.
    Well, perhaps more less than more, but more nevertheless. I should also mention Aromatherapy, and my organic raw food diet.
    I say this because I do not want you to be afraid of me. I would like to be one of your best friends. My Neighbor, Myself! (Book idea there!!!)

    (God, email is so much more intimate! Thanks for sending your address!)

    As one of my Gurus (I forget which one) says: “Beloved, we have things in Karma!” Hey, are you a TV Producer?
    My neighborhood is a perfect setting, like a suburban jungle island, for one of those reality-type TV shows, if you know what I mean.
    How about it? We could collaborate, and call it Xtremely Desperate Suburbs. (TV or movie idea!!! LOL)

    (Maybe we could do a movie together and call it: "You Got Mail!" But now I am thinking that has been done!! Whatever!)

    This is why I never, ever invite you over for cricket, squash, Easter egg hunts, kick the can, Druid rituals, or afternoon tea.
    Here is the terrible truth: I might like you a lot, I think. But bottom line, I worry about losing you as a friend if we get that far.
    if you came over here. Someone might shoot you by mistake. Where you live is like SO different!

    (I looked up your street address from your ISP information on Go Daddy, and Google-Earthed your home. NICE house! :)

    You live on Warren Buffet Way, down from Gates. You are like, SO Mr. Clean, Mr. Cool, Mr. Together, Mr. Corporate.
    You are so NOT Hip Hop, Funky, Get Down, FUBU camouflage.You are Armani and Tom Ford when he designs Gucci for Men.
    You do not wear Che sweat shirts and guerilla gear to Walmart, or allow break-dance festivals in your Rodeo Drive mall over there.

    (I also searched the Criminal Records,through that online service, and couldn't find anything on you. This is GOOD!)

    Over here, we have the boom boxes and these candy-colored tangerine flake stream-line Chevvy’s, humping on hydraulics all night,
    up and down Rasta Boulevard, if you can imagine. But I won’t go off on that rant now. I just want you to know that nothing, nothing
    in all those New Age seminars I used to go to, prepared me for what I now face in my neighborhood daily.

    (Hey, I erased all my Google History on the 29th, just in time it seems. Did you?)

    This is the last pit stop on the way to the End of the Universe. This is Bollywood for Bozos, a country which has detached itself
    from Western Civilization as we have briefly known it, and floated away into its own sea of Quantum Strangeness.
    What did Ghandi say when asked how he felt about Western Civilization? Oh, yes. He said: “It would be nice.”

    (I have really enjoyed our messaging, BTW. It is always hard to know what to say after you say Hello, isn't it?)

    So, like what I am writing about – I need to get to my main point here, and as Ellen says, I DO have one, LOL -
    is that I am terrified that one day soon the City is going to declare my neighborhood a Psychotic Super Site, and put in a request
    for clean – up funds, but the application could take years. They might even put up a Federal Prison Grade barbed wire fence.

    (Maybe I shouldn't be talking about this. Don't want to give them any ideas, LOL!)

    Like Chernobyl and now, God save us all, Fukushima, they would simple seal us off from the rest of the world
    like some kind of high risk personality disorder disaster area. If that, um, happens, Allah forbid! may I give you a call?
    I’d ask you if you might, just might have an extra room or two, well, ten rooms would be ideal for me. I will need somewhere to go,

    (Do you think people can find each other as Soul Mates in cyberspace? How do you feel about blind dates?)

    It could all melt down around me here any day now. Just so you can be prepared for my call, we need to meet soon and talk about this.
    What I need is plenty of space for my servers, a cyclotron, a few small satellite receivers, an emergency diesel-powered home generator,
    my Cray, my trampoline, my Tesla Coil, my Free Energy Machine, my weather modification monitor, AND...

    (I only have 500 words left for this message, so I will wrap it up!)

    My 23,000 books on alchemy, virtual reality, crop circles, forbidden archeology, extraterrestrial studies, tantric sex. And much, much more!
    Oh, yes, I almost forgot! I have a baby hippopotamus named Euripides, a Bengal Tiger, and three Shetland ponies.
    How about it? May we talk? Please write back soon. Use this email address. I sure hope I have the right person!!! LOL
    We should probably talk on the phone, so. like, we can really get to know each other before "in person." RSVP!!

    ( Do you like me so far? I am really a lot of fun when you can overcome your shock at my Xtreme beauty, LOL!)

    (Photo taken by AJN in the Egypta sim in the virtual 3-D world of Second Life. Fashion by Happiness Merryman)
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