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  • Mummy can I marry daddy?
    I always assumed I could, why wouldn't I, nobody had ever told me otherwise...
    Baby number 1/dumb blonde, these were the many ways he expressed his affection to me through his words..
    His lap is where I sat, safe, loved, his lap is where I thought I belonged, his lap is where I thought I would remain, over night I grew out of that lap..one of the most poignant moments of my life - moving from lap to seat...sad, I retreated to my room in my cupboard in my room, where I continued to spend most of my waking hours.
    After my 1st marriage came to a finale I retuned home, I took this as my opportunity to rekindle a love diminished with time due to old stories caught in a haze of pubescent smoke, a love that had always been there for me, waiting for me, a love that stood strong for me and gave me a place to be...to experience 'little girl in his lap love' as a big girl...
    A man I so admired he made every moment of his life count, a man who had the ability to love instantly, a man who didn't think about the end result, but trusted in the journey..
    I spent many hours soul searching within the warmth of his heart....healing and gathering strength he helped me understand the meaning of love and what a genuine gift it is, we transformed our love into a love that has no words but plenty of meaning.
    We enjoyed many evenings together where he would impart knowledge delicately, and laugh from the soul, letting music be the magic of his life ...and all too quickly he parted this world taking a part of my heart with him and as he stole what was not his, he replaced it with a strength of mind, empowered and enlightened to continue my journey as he would have wanted me to...
    I was certain I would not allow myself to wallow in his memory rather put love into action through living an awakened life by turning the sadness into greatness...my faith in him unshakable...his love for me dependable
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