A ninety-five year old, barely five foot, size five shoes, large breasted, alert and respectable woman, named AM is in love with what is a deceitful reality. She lies in her room now, remarking how her living room, dining room, bedroom and kitchen can all been seen as she lays there in her bed, with no one by her side but maybe a bed critter or two. Her curtains are the extra sheets pinned up for privacy and her décor is your typical, downtown Best Western feel. Just like home some may convince you to believe!
She once lived in a cottage which resided on a path near the canal, in a small town. It was filled with many memories and antiques for all to be warmed by when visiting, accompanied by her stories that left you yearning for more. She spent many of days, watching others pass by on their daily walks, with their children and look alike pets, with hers by side. Birds would always nest in the trees nearby, full of life and color to be admired and gazed upon – chirping sounds of their offspring would ring in the ears of all who wish to enlighten to their earthy melody. This is no more.
AM has been in this nursing home, ripped from her home now for two weeks and still wonders were her fluffy, curly haired, only true companion and twinned in spirit, French poodle is. No one will tell her she has been put to sleep so that AM could be dumped in a facility for strangers to care for her. I look at her in such disbelief that such cruelty has been done to her; such lies have been told to her and continue to be told and yet I do not tell her myself. Why do we treat our elderly so cruelly? Am I to tell her the truth so that she has closure or will it send her into such a depressive state, killing the life that keeps her soul alive to this very day...the hopes of her Gigi by her side once again!?
She cries many nights as she tells me when visiting, asking for her little pup to be brought to her so that her backside may be warmed once again. Gigi, nuzzled and cuddled beside her in a cold winter’s wind. She never comes, however, she never will, I know this, she does not. Who, if when, will ever tell her? Is she ever to be told and who will decide that fate? Will it be the man that she claims to be her longtime friend, a soul mate at best, she says and the one responsible for putting her dog asleep without her consent or full understanding of what is to come? The man she is in love with him, she claims; he makes her heart skip a beat with the thought of his very presence. Is this man worthy of such love, is he beast?
I wonder how can she feel such love for someone who has deceived her? Then again, she is unaware of her reality and what does love have to do with it or does it? Maybe, he does this for her out of love, believing she will be unable to care for herself or afford the home she lives in and foreseeing a dim future? Or, does he feel overwhelmed, releasing his responsibility to a facility meant to provide...provide what, for whom?