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  • learning to live is not all its cracked up to be
    there is the school of hard knocks
    the glass half empty
    every little bit that didn’t help
    and then there is Commander General of Negativity, unleashed, armed and dangerous

    just when you think things could not get worse
    there’s Murphy’s law
    and yes, it does go wrong
    yet, somehow in the midst of all this
    there comes a moment
    one thing goes right
    that little glimmer of hope

    the coffee tastes a bit better
    the check actually comes in the mail
    there’s food in the belly
    a roof overhead
    a child who loves you
    maybe even a cat that purrs in your lap

    all the crappy things evaporate in those brief encounters and things begin to look up. don’t be suckered into being too optimistic though. must keep that head down and suck in the gut for the next belly punch. be ready to have the wind knocked right out of those sails. if and when it happens there is always the keep on keep’n on to contend with. because shit or no shit, when it happens, it does take prisoners and it will keep spiraling out of control until it is faced head on.

    wouldn’t it be nice if fairy tales came true and the good guys actually won in the end. no such thing as greed, avarice, hatred, bigotry or discrimination. if anyone could walk down the street in their old neighborhood without the fear of being shot, mugged or robbed. life would be a dream. ahhh yes. but daily, millions are out there, just like me, trying to make ends meet, trying to pay for this American Dream without a cost of living increase in the last twenty years. driving old cars with old broken parts. living in homes with sub standard living conditions and praying to be paid in time to make that rent or mortgage payment and save a little for the prop tax even when whatever is earned is gobbled up by gasoline, utilities and WTF medical expenses that pop up. the car sniffs the air for the check to arrive just so it can do that funny little thing, the electrical switch on the automatic window opener goes out leaving the passenger side door window permanently wide open. or, the rear brake needs replacement and the thread on the tires are bare. just enough for the check to evaporate without ever making a dent in the expenses. meanwhile, jobs are outsourced, our water fracked, our land raped, our resources divided up into little sub-sections for the rest of the global economy and our human rights diminished. this just goes to show how mean that Commander General of Negativity really is.

    so, I raise a toast. Pumpernickel! to my good neighbors, my bad humor and to the Commander General of Negativity and say thank you for this little breather you gave me today. i know i am not deserving, but I could actually whistle a tune and thank god for this gorgeous day even if my optimism kept it’s head down. I sunk my toes deep into the beaches wet sand and the tiny bubbles in the surf fizzled away all my woes and I watched them merge into the tide as they were swept to some other place in time. today was a saving grace.
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