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  • “Hello darkness, my old friend
    I’ve come to talk with you again”

    By Paul Simon, from “Sounds of Silence”, Simon & Garfunkel
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
    So, there’s good news, and there’s not so good news, about coming off the allergy medicine that the good doctor has had me on for the past month. The good news is, it has my brain working and functioning much better than it was for a month, being off that “brain-fog machine” of the medicine. I’m not always feeling like I need more sleep, even when I wake up later than I like to, like I was when I was on the medicine.

    The not-so-good news is, now I find myself waking up at 2:30 – 3:00 in the morning, after only a few hours of sleep, and once those eyes open, I am up. There’s no fighting it. Resistance is futile. My body and mind are wide awake, and looking for something to do.

    “Hey, come on, man, let’s get up, let’s do something, there’s so much to think about, so many mental roads to explore, so many paths to wind down…” Fucking really? Do you know what it’s going to be like working all day, with only 3 or 4 hours of sleep? “Aw, don’t worry about that. Now is the time. This is YOUR time. Let’s go – get up. Hey – we could read some stories! And then, we could write some stories! And then, and then…”

    Yeah, yeah, I get the picture. You want to get me back into the moment, and be all about right now, and not worry about the day ahead, and how I’ll feel at work. Because, now is what matters, it’s now that counts, energy is a decision, and if you decide to have energy at work, it won’t matter that you only had 3 or 4 hours of sleep. You will have energy to do what you need to do, and it will all work out. I know all about it. Sorry, I just fell out of practice. This skeptic creeped into my brain, you see. Yeah, it probably hitchhiked in there on the allergy medicine, and it’s not going to leave without a fight.

    “Be logical, man!”, it tries to tell me. “Who do you think you’re fooling? You really think you can write? You really think anyone even gives a crap about all this hogwash you lay down, day in and day out? Get a grip on yourself, brother! You’re delusional. This is all a head trip. You’re no writer. Not a real writer. You’re nothing but a wannabe. And, while you wannabe up and writing and stoking the creative fires – I wannabe back in bed, getting a good 5 or 6 hours, at least. Wake me when it’s time to go. Until then, let me get some more sleep.”
  • But, I’m up. My brain is working again. Time’s a-wasting. Where’s my laptop? Where’s my muse? Where’s my stories?

    “You really want to get into all of that again? Hey, you know what, maybe you’re becoming manic-depressive again. Did you ever consider that? All this writing, this needing to say something every day. This isn’t real. This is your manic phase trying to get you to wig out again. Remember how crazy you used to get behind all this manic energy? Dude, you’re sick. Take a pill and go back to sleep. You need your rest. You need sleep. You need to comply…”

    Enough, already! I’m up, I’m here, I’m who I am, whatever and whoever that is, and I’m a-fucking-live. The rest is all bullshit, mon frere. If I am sick, so be it. It’s MY sickness. I can live with it. Hell, I’ve managed to do so for 60 years so far, and the last 30 or so haven’t gone too badly. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If it is broke, but still getting your through the night, don’t fuck with it.

    You’re here, it’s now, and it’s time to write.

    Welcome back!

    (Now that we’ve gotten that all out of the way, let’s get back to some of your regularly scheduled story-telling. Oh, hey look! It’s 4 a.m. – STORY TIME!)

    My universe is back in it’s proper order, now. That, my friends, is an inside glimpse inside this un-befogged brain.

    Any questions?
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