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  • Sometimes I just want to report. This happened. I felt that. I thought this. Rational and observant.

    Sometimes I try to live in the moment. Get lost in the big picture. Stop being so damn meta and enjoy an experience just for itself.

    But it gets harder as I get older. Too many experiences inform my thoughts now. Cynicism grows like a cancer. I fight it, really, I do.

    I'm as wired as they come. Gadgets up the wazoo. Phones, pads, cams, GPSs, mostly to make up for my absent-minded brain. I surround myself with tools to extend my memory and senses. They give me structure, like a cyborg, connected to the hive mind. I've decided that the best skill I have these days is my ability to filter out noise. What's worthy of real memory? What's the truth behind the propaganda? What do I really want from all the things I'm being told I need? No wonder I'm getting cynical. I spend my urban days picking out small truths from the raging torrent of corporate, political and social messaging. I still find it invigorating, but it does tire one so, if you can't step away.

    Outside, in the wilderness. I try to let it all go. Disconnect for a while. Breathe.

    That takes a few days now. Before I can rise in the morning and think only of where I am. When the smells, sounds and sights of the forest become my brain's only concern. Besides that morning java, of course. I can't seem to shake that, no matter how many weeks I'm out there. It's my one real addiction I guess.

    I'm sure that were it not for the weekends outside, I'd have burned out by now. Joined so many of my peers who have stepped away from that torrent of wired life and decided to live the rest of their lives as they are. Tuned into oldies radio, reliving their glory days. Bemoaning the frantic pace of their kids' lives. Sitting on the sidelines of the stream, making sense of what they can. I promised myself a long time ago that I would never be like that. I would never stop learning, never step out of the stream. I thank Alvin Toffler for that. His book Future Shock prepared me for this, way back in the '70s. I've always seen this coming. Adapted whenever I could. Still do.

    I can only tell you that if you do find yourself stumbling in the stream of life, seek out a real one. Dip your toes in a babbling brook and listen to the sounds of the forest until they no longer whisper "you do not belong here". Walk a trail until you move like water over the rocks, finding your place, insignificant as it may be, in this verdant biosphere of ours.

    It will set your mind free to wonder.

    This is good.
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