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  • Sometimes I wish I lived in Melrose Place.

    I know that it's a little absurd to long for a fictional apartment complex in California in the mid-1990s when I have a real job, home, and life in Washington DC in 2015, but I do. The apartments weren't that great, but the pool wasn't bad (deadly, but not bad). I don't want to add drama to my life, but I wish for it.

    In making the wish, this wish, for an outdated setting, I date myself, and therein lies the problem. Dating myself. I'd rather date someone else, and that would be so much more feasible in the Darren Star and Aaron Spelling creation. Melrose Place. Of course, the wish only crops up when I see my neighbor, the former marine, the one with the dog and the two thin scars under his eye. The rest of my time, I enjoy my reality.

    Our building is filled with people my age - young and bright, friendly and professional. All of us work. Most of us work for the federal government. A lot work for State and a lot in IT. Our building offers free Wifi.

    There are people with babies, and people with dogs. There are people who invite others over for wine and cheese, and people who go. There are people who complain about things. There are people who listen and try to fix them. Five of us make up the homeowners' board - the former marine, the cheese man, and me along with two others. We meet. We talk. They talk to contractors. I run numbers and make charts. We make decisions together. It's a whole bundle of geek fun.

    In hindsight, Melrose Place proves rather ridiculous, immature, and impractical. How did anything ever get done, and how did they keep the pool? After a drowning, the whole thing would have been closed. At the very least, costs would have increased. The owners would have been levied special assessments to cover the cost of the lawsuits certain to come and/or the whole complex would have changed management companies. Policies would have been written. Rules would have been enforced.

    Besides, who really think it's a good idea to date a neighbor (outside of college)? It's harder to find an apartment than boyfriend. Date elsewhere. Not to mention the fact that so many people lived and worked together; it was really too much. Did none of these people have lives? Nobody seemed to have any other friends.

    I would have been bad at it all, including but not limited to the idea of faking my own death to get out of a relationship (I have been tempted), and with that I realize that I have grown up too much for the show that seemed so very grownup when I was a teen. I am confined to reality, my home, and the knowledge that this really is the better option. The former marine will remain "just" a friend and a fellow board member.

    Of course, that didn't stop me from "looking like a supermodel" (a coworker's words) at last night's board meeting. I considered jeans but kept the dress I'd worn to work. It looked good, and I couldn't shake everything I learned from the show.
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