Surprisingly, mum won't give peas a chance today. Dad was unavailable for comment.

My mother believes that food leads to happiness. She was a malnourished child during the Spanish civil war, which led to her having a bloated and distended stomach. She suffered in a similar way to what you see in famine stricken children. She often insists that my sister and I eat everything on the plate during meals. She once phoned me long distance, solely to complain that the wild birds were pecking at the figs on her fruit trees. She was not angry that the birds were eating the figs, but only that they'd left the half-eaten fruit to rot on the floor. She hates wastefulness that much. "Coma todo ello, pajaritos!"