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  • "We do not remember days. We remember moments." is a quote from Cesare Pavese, who ironically also said, "No one ever lacks a good reason to commit suicide."

    I once spent over 2 hours speaking with a friend who was suicidal. In those days, there were no hot lines or public intervention systems. He was despondent over the accidental death of his 8 year old son and the resulting dissolution of his marriage. I did my best to send him love and light, but within hours after our call, he went out to his garage and hung himself.

    Did I fail? I hope not. I used all the tools at my disposal and gave him every bit of hope and love and compassion that I had. When we hung up the phone, he was still very sad and desperate, but he seemed to be somewhat better. I thought he was okay, and he obviously was not, but at least his last contact was with a person who truly loved and cared for him. And that brings me back to the two quotes from Pavese.

    We can go through life thinking, "My day is ruined!", or we can treat the bad moments as learning experiences and remember that they are just moments and not the entire day. Life is a constant changing kaleidoscope. If you don't like what's happening, look for the lighter moments to lead you to a better life. Each moment of joy is a beacon on the path that leads you away from darkness and despair. We each have an inherent ability to choose which moments in our lives that we wish to cherish. Life dumps good and bad into each of our laps. Do we put our power into the dark moments or into the enlightened ones?

    To me, the dark moments come to teach me lessons, to give the rest of my life depth and dimension, to keep my spirit sharp and appreciative, not to destroy me. Sometimes the dark moments in my life come to teach others' lessons, too, not just to teach me. I have learned much from the dark times that others have endured. Others have told me that they've learned from my dark times.

    The light moments come to nurture me, to give me hope, to lighten my path, to strengthen my ability to love and to thrive. Those moments are also meant to be shared. The rest of your life will be defined by where you've chosen to put your power.
  • Photo taken by my son, Robert DeWitt, on a walk through Hong Kong
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